helen...the middle years

Remembering Helen, the middle years

So now we come to the late 40's, Helen is in Allentown, and engaging in the active job of being the Girl Scout executive.  These types of jobs are usually quite demanding involving a lot of negotiating, pacifying, fund raising, coordinating, massaging, and generally making things happen.  I'm sure it was no different for Helen.  In this capacity she got to know many of the civic leaders in the area and seemed to be well regarded by most, if not all, many remaining friends for the rest of their lives.  What did Helen do for fun in her new adopted home?  I'm sure there were many trips back to New York to visit cousin Ginny on her days off.  I'm sure there were no shortage of fix-up dates set up by her girl scout board colleagues.  I suspect it would take a certain type of no-nonsense veteran to appeal to Helen at this point.  By now she had already seen a lot of life .  Apparently, one beau who stuck was Joe Potts.  As I heard it, they had actually met previously, when Helen was in the Red Cross doing soldier entertainment for the troops on the bases.  Apparently there was a party going on in someone's house, where an upstairs bathtub had been filled with champagne.  That room was presided over by a young Captain Potts, probably in charge of opening the bottles and testing same prior to dispersal amongst the guests.  I know my father was a master at opening champagne and very careful not to waste any by allowing the top to explode out along with half the contents.  A very careful twist at the right moment, and poof, with a  little smoke the cork neatly releases with nary a drop on the floor.  He taught his sons well.  Anyway, Helen was left with some kind of memory of Captain Potts which she recalled years later when they met in Allentown.

Joe Potts from Pottstown had roomed with Fritz Durham from Allentown at Princeton and remained fast friends.  After being discharged from the army and pondering his next move, Joe was hanging out with his buddy Fritz up in Allentown, planning on attending Harvard Business School in the fall.  Fritz's dad, Ned Durham, had a business  in town, Bonney Forge and Foundry.  Ned told Joe he was wasting his time at business school.  Hell, he could go to work for him right now along with his buddy Fritz.  He'd learn more on the job than he ever would out of a bunch of books in school.  Joe took him up on it.  At some point he and Helen reconnected, and I've heard the story of how, but don't recall it right now.  Joe is hard at work selling forged products all around the country, Helen busy running the girl scouts, and in 1949 they get married.  Their two kids, my brother Joe and I arrive in 1951 and 1952 respectively.  They move from the row house on Franklin St. right by the Hotel Traylor and the Girl Scout Office out to 30th St. in 1952 when a house becomes available.  There was a shortage of available housing back in those days.  The house was a charming thatch roof English cottage, which I'm sure reminded Helen of her time in England.  A horrible addition in the 60's destroyed the facade of this charming home.

In any event, Joe and Helen ran with a group known as the 30th St. Rat pack.  Bob and Betty Muir, the Staceys, Fritz and Kitty Durham,  I'm guessing Bus and Barbara Benner, Bill and Jocelyn Young, Chuck and Betty Garrettson, and I'm sure some others I am missing seemed to do a lot of partying as I was a kid growing up.  Always seemed to be some party somewhere.  Dinner and drinks at one or another of their houses.  Despite all this going on, I also recall going back to Pottstown almost every weekend  on Saturday.  My dad also had a group of Pottstown friends he kept up with.  Helen was quickly absorbed into the Pottstown Potts family.  She adored Joe's dad, Dr. Potts.  His brother and family also lived in town at that time.  Joe's mother, Sarah,  quite a character in her own right,  enjoyed sharing recipes and teaching Helen the ins and outs of being a married woman. "Oh ye gods and little fishes, how I hate to do the dishes". One of Sarah's quotes.  Dr Potts was in poor health and passed away in 1955, and Joe had to spend a lot of time helping to keep up the big house they lived in, a Queen Anne style Victorian perched on a rise right next to the Hill School.  Always adaptable, Helen melded right in to the social scene both in Pottstown and Allentown, forming fast friendships which lasted her lifetime.  Most of the stories from this time revolve around Joe, who was a rather compelling character himself.  But suffice it to say that Helen matched him step for step despite playing more of a supporting role, being responsible at first for her girl scout duties, and later raising a couple of rambunctious boys as well as contributing to a variety of civic organizations.  Weekends traveling to Pottstown.  Parties Friday and Saturday nights.  Far more hectic than my lifestyle today.

Bonney Forge was bought out by Miller Manufacturing in the late 50's, early 60's and my dad had to start flying out to Ohio each week.  Eventually, Miller Manufacturing was bought out by Gulf and Western.  The simple little forging business became the Energy Products Group in Gulf and Western, and Joe's responsibilities became more global.  He went around the world looking at forging operations, buying those that fit the EPG framework, and integrating their operations within the conglomerate's protocols.  Scotland, Italy, France, Mexico, even a quick look at Iran when the Shah was there.  A lot of International Travel.  Often, Helen accompanied him, providing some much needed support and aid entertaining the wives of the men managing the companies involved.  At times it was to make them feel comfortable with the people buying out what was usually a family business.  Other times it was to promote a sense of team building with the wives of the new managers.  Either way, it was important work.  As they say, mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.  While Helen did well with the wives, she also did well with their husbands.  She was very adept at dealing with men, understood them, and was able to show interest in the things they found interesting.  If she didn't know about something, she went out of her way to learn.  They next time she met you, she would have something to contribute.  That was her way.  The Cambells in Scotland, the Minardi's in Bergamo, many others became family friends who maintained ties through the years.

Don't think that Helen totally abandoned her North Carolina roots with all this immersion in Pennsylvania and the world of Joe.  Far from it.  "I'm a tar-heel born and a tar-heel bred, and when I die I'm a tar-heel dead."  A common comment.  Each year Helen drove the boys down to High Point for a week with her mother and sister, then a week down in Cherry Grove (now part of Myrtle Beach)  This was usually during union negotiations, a stressful part of the year for Joe, who typically stayed home the first week and joined us the second.  Besides there was better golf in myrtle Beach at the Dunes Golf and Beach Club.  In addition to the summer visits, her mother and Betsy often came north to stay with us for a couple weeks each year.  Summer Camp outside Asheville for my brother and I for 5 weeks each summer added to our southern heritage and awareness.  Helen saw to it we knew our roots.

In the late 60's, Joe's mother , who had lived alone in her large house with Joe and family coming over to maintain things every couple weeks , developed some dementia and had to put placed in a home.  It became Helen's job to check up on things, which she faithfully did each day for several years.  Barbara Benner was active in Republican politics and when a nursing home licensing board was being put together, they were looking for a consumer advocate to place on the panel.  Barbara said she had a friend who was in one every day and before long the governor was calling asking her if she wanted to participate.  After conferring with Joe, who thought it might be a good experience for her, she accepted.  Thus began a four or five year period where she saw some of the underside of Pennsylvania politics, as well as the inner workings of the nursing home business.  The Shapp administration came in and Helen kept on trekking to Harrisburg a couple times a month working on this board several more years.  One day she got a call from the Governor. "Helen" he said  "I had no idea you weren't a Democrat.  I'm going to get my skin fried politically if I don't get you off this board and give it to one of my democratic supporters. You've done a great job, but I have to ask you to resign."  No hard feelings from Helen.  She understood. It was how the world of patronage in government worked. She was surprised they wanted her as long as they had.

In the meantime, her experience with nursing home administration made her a valuable member of the Presbyterian Homes network where she next donated her talents.  For many years she put a lot of miles and a lot of work on a variety of projects undertaken around the state.  She learned the ins and outs of finance riding back and forth to Dillsburg with Carl Bear, chairman of Merchants Bank.  Helen's task on these boards was typically to listen carefully, ask the questions that seemed too obvious or silly to be asked by those Helen referred to as "the men".  By doing so, of course, she always managed to get to the nut of the problem, and her participation was valued.  She had a keen eye and a sharp wit, and was not inclined to let things slide when they needed to be done.

During the early 60's the family had outgrown their charming English cottage.  Joe was an avid golfer and Lehigh member.  The boys were trekked out to the club each day for swimming and what not and picked up each afternoon.  A property adjoining the golf course came up for sale and Joe was entranced.  It was a summer home for the Freemans of Freemans' dairy.  It was a cottage they had rebuilt in the thirties complete with beautiful gardens and stone retaining walls everywhere.  A narrow sliver of steep ground along the Little Lehigh, it had a series of paths developed along the contours of the slope.  There was abundant wildlife, hills for sledding, lots of trouble for the boys to find.  Helen was convinced, and here she made her home until the end of her days.  Though at first it was Joe's sanctuary, Pottsheim, soon it was equally Helen's.  The place she thought of as home.  For about 50 years.

The years of international travel and corporate stress took their toll on Joe.  While on one of his marathon business trips which started out in Allentown, midday in Michigan, and a late dinner in Mexico City, he had a massive heart attack and died in 1980.  This was a total surprise.  He was in very good shape, and was checked out rigorously by Gulf and Western each year.  It was a big shock for Helen as well as the rest of us, who by now were out on our own pursuing our various careers.  So begins the third phase of Helen's saga.